It feels so good…

To be out of the closet now. Keeping secrets is hard.

skirt sports jumping
This photo is obviously from a pre-nausea era. Jumping is so out of my wheelhouse right now it kind of makes me sick to even think about. Wearing: Skirt Sports Jette Skirt, #sweatpink tank


Begrudgingly ordering decaf at 8am on Monday or a mocktail at 6pm on a Friday is hard.

Dodging social invitations because I can’t lift my head up off the pillow is hard.

Posting workout shots on Instagram and pretending they’re current makes me feel like a shifty, no-count liar.

Nodding and smiling when someone diagnoses my malaise as “maybe the flu” or “could be allergies!” and offers some remedies feels disingenuous and weird.

Now that alien is public, I’m just telling everyone, indiscriminately. I told the barista today after ordering my herbal tea (yawn, herbal tea. You are so not interesting) and got a high five. I told a Meetup friend via text that’s why I’ve been (un)conveniently unavailable for her happy hour invitations and got a “how can I help?”

It’s so nice to come out of hiding, and flaunt my nausea without shame.

Bring it, world.*


* Just kidding. I’d actually really like this to be over. I’m willing to negotiate. Whatever it takes.

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2 Replies to “It feels so good…”

  1. I’ve only told a few people (and now you, so, um, yeah) because we’re still pretty early (8 weeks) but I sort of wish I could tell everyone. But it feels a bit too early. For the most part I didn’t drink alcohol or coffee so there’s no obvious change there but I have been a bit more slow moving. And somehow my belly looks way bigger than it should be for this early on. So it’s possible some people will start figuring it out for me.
    Nervous to tell everyone because
    a) we’ve gone through a loss and it is so painful to have to tell people that news
    b) not sure how the whole pregnancy thing is going to go down at work

    But, I still look to your posts as inspiration (I don’t care if they’re from months ago, I need to get/stay active for this pregnancy!)

    Oh, one note, my doctor mentioned that some herbal teas should be avoided during pregnancy. Not sure offhand which, I’ve just started avoiding all of them to be safe, but you might want to look into that.

    Hope everything goes well!

  2. Congratulations, Stephanie!! Your secret is safe with me! 🙂 I hear you on the slow moving….

    Sounds like we’re very close together, pregnancy-wise: I’m 10 weeks right now, due in mid-January. Looking forward to figuring this all out together!

    Thanks for the tip about herbal teas – I had no idea, and will definitely look into that!

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