How to get the death glare

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There are a few tried and true ways of getting a death glare from a pregnant lady.

Want a death glare from me? It’s really very simple to get one.

Make a comment, any comment at all, about what I’m eating. For example:

“You’re eating cereal.” —> Death glare.

“Are we out of potato chips?” –> Death glare.

“I thought your doctor said …” –> Death glare.

“Have you been drinking enough water?” –> Death glare.

There you go. Any of those will work, or you can get creative and come up with your own.

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Nausea is the new normal

When the first tri queasies started making their presence known, I attacked them with vigor. It feels like a combination of a flu and a hangover, so I figured I had some tried and true strategies for dealing with a mushy brain, low energy, and that icky feeling in my stomach.

Hangovers, especially, I’ve had some practice with, and those are pretty reliable. You know they end before too long, as long as you can ply them with enough greasy carbs, hydration, iced coffee, and plain old time. So I attacked my queasies with vigor. Potato chips, pasta, toast, boxed mac’n’cheese. Bland carbs, generously salted, heaped upon bland carbs, and washed down with as much juice and water as I could stomach. I stayed away from caffeine and gatorade because even the smell of coffee makes me want to ralph, and gatorade is full of all sorts of weird shit, but otherwise, I stuck to my hangover game plan and eagerly waited for results.

I’ve eaten a criminal amount of pasta and potato chips over the last couple weeks, and the results haven’t come yet. The thing is, it doesn’t get better. Eating that bagel might distract you from how you feel for a few moments, but you go right back to feeling the same way afterward. The sight of hash browns might not make you run for the bathroom the way that chicken or tomatoes might, but eating them doesn’t soak up the nausea. It doesn’t even really mask the nausea, because you can only take a few bites before you get out of breath from lifting fork to mouth. Also, it’s nap time again.

At this point, I’m trying to convince myself to just proceed as normal. To accept that the way I feel is my normal right now, and nothing I do is going to make it better. Sure, I can avoid the sight and smell of animal flesh as much as possible, and do my best to not gag on the foods I ate yesterday, which are now associated with nausea, but that’s it. I have to adjust my standards, or I’m going to spend the next 6 weeks feeling increasingly ragey about how I’m not doing the things I love to.

So this is my normal. This lethargic, nap-prone, fuzzy brained, always-about-to-puke state of being is just how it’s going to be until (fingers crossed) second trimester. I’ve got to accept that walking my dog two blocks to the park is my exercise for now, and that taking a nap at 9:30am is just how I roll.

Here we go. Second trimester, please don’t let me down.

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My favorite prenatal vitamins – Giveaway!

When I first got pregnant, we suddenly had all this stuff to worry about. Unpasteurized cheese. Chemicals in our cleaning products. Sushi. Deli meat. How to make sure we were getting the nutrition we needed, especially during these early days when all I can eat are bland carbs.

Nathan, luckily, jumped right into the vitamin investigation fray to figure out what the best prenatal vitamins are. So many options out there, and so much information. I felt totally overwhelmed by all the (often contradictory) instructions about what I should or should not be taking. I tried a few different kinds, including some gummies that were just gross, some pills that made me want to retch, and a few others. Then SmartyPants reached out with an offer to try their gummy vitamins.. and at first, I had a little freakout. How did they know?! I wasn’t Facebook official yet. Only my parents and Jamie knew the news.

Luckily, my secret hadn’t really leaked; their PR team just had really good timing. Or some well-honed intuition. In either case, I got to try their vitamins (which fortunately arrived just hours before I left town for 12 days) —seriously, another case of impressive timing!—so I packed up that big old bottle and hit the road.

smartypants prenatal vitamins

Short verdict: they are DELICIOUS. So delicious, that my husband keeps stealing them. I’ve been trying to remind him they’re for ME and for Alien, and he shouldn’t be depriving us of our vitamins. Not least because I’m still subsisting on mostly bland carbs. But I can’t really blame him. They’re like candy, with just the right balance of sweet and sour, and a convincing, candy-like texture. Even on my most nauseous days, I’ve been able to take them without any additional queasiness.

I know, I know. I’m growing a human; the candy qualities shouldn’t be the most important ones for picking a vitamin. I had Nathan evaluate the nutritional content, since he’s been doing all the vitamin research. I fully expected he would take them away from me, because he (a) has impossibly high standards and (b) wanted to eat them all himself.

To my surprise, he and my sister-in-law (a midwife with similarly high standards) both gave SmartyPants a strong endorsement. The only consideration was that in combination with my other vitamins, I might overdo it on the Vitamin D. That’s an easy fix: we’re adjusting my other vitamins so I can keep taking the SmartyPants and not go into Vitamin D overdose. (Is that even possible? I don’t think so).

If you’re preggo, if you’ve got a little one at home, or even if not,** you can enter to win this awesome #BornSmarty kit from SmartyPants. 

#BornSmarty Kit Final

It includes:

  • SmartyPants Prenatal vitamins
  • Various SmartyPants vitamin samples
  • #BornSmarty onesie
  • Sophie teething giraffe
  • Skip Hop Activity Owl
  • Babyganics bath wash

Not a bad haul, eh?

Open to US and Canada residents!

** If you’re preggo but not out of the closet yet, you can still enter and we’ll keep your secret safe. Feel free to use a pseudonym in the comments; just make sure you enter your real email address so I can secretly get ahold of you if you win.

SmartyPants #BornSmarty Kit

Disclaimer: I received complimentary product to try. All opinions are my own! I so appreciate you supporting the brands who help me grow the healthiest kiddo possible. 

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#1MillionMinutes – my plan for second trimester

The #sweatpink community is rallying around a common goal this summer: to achieve 1 million minutes of activity together.

dr evil 1 million minutes

Getting moving off my couch has felt a little beyond me for the last 6 weeks (not that I’m counting!), but, according to my paper chain and my pregnancy app and all the other countdown mechanisms I’m using, I *should* be feeling better pretty soon. And there’s nothing better than the #sweatpink sisterhood to motivate me back into action!

So… here’s my goal for the summer, via a mad lib blog post everyone’s participating in. Just keep in mind this might be a slightly delayed activity.

Want to join? Just copy the Mad Lib below and fill in the underlined parts with your own answers! 🙂

1MillionMinutes3

I am so excited to join #1MillionMinutes with #sweatpink! This summer my goal is to do _1000_ (number) minutes ofswimming (activity), while wearing my favorite _blue & green__ (color) _prAna swimsuit (noun).

I predict that we’ll _CRUSH_ (Verb) the goal of #1MillionMinutes – we’ll actually hit _2,000,000_ (number) of minutes this summer! I predict that _running_ (activity) will be the top-logged movement.

I’ll get extra minutes in by _walking or biking_ (verb) to my yoga studio (place)!

My favorite way to get extra minutes in is by doing the fun run (verb) with Running Hutch and BlogFest attendees! (person). My dog Tigger_(person) is my BEST activity partner because he/she is so high energy ALL THE TIME. (adjective). Our favorite way to relax post-workout is to nap together.

I tag Petite Heartbeat , Running Rachel, and The Fit Switch (people) to help us reach #1MillionMinutes… or more!

If you want to join the challenge, join us! There’s a bunch of fun prizes plus a ton of social sharing / activity to help you build your brand, make more online friends, and just have fun. 🙂

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The paper chain massacre

One of the best things about going on a vacation that I didn’t really go on was coming home to my paper chain.

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I had so many days to destroy!

paper chain massacre

The aftermath

shredded paper chain

This was even more satisfying than eating a can of Pringles for breakfast.

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