The paper chain massacre

One of the best things about going on a vacation that I didn’t really go on was coming home to my paper chain.

2015-05-30 21.16.16

I had so many days to destroy!

paper chain massacre

The aftermath

shredded paper chain

This was even more satisfying than eating a can of Pringles for breakfast.

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Every time is nap time

napping with tigger

Today I took a nap at 9:30am. I’d been up for about 3 hours, and gotten a reasonable amount of stuff done. Especially for a Sunday morning. I took the dog out, I attempted to eat breakfast, I checked my email, and I sat on the couch with my head between my knees doing some deep breathing.

Then, I just had to close my eyes. Literally there was no way to keep them open, so I succumbed, and crawled back to bed, until 10:30.

If only that hour of sleep could have come at 3am, when I was wide awake for no apparent reason.

tigger napping

Napping. #Justdoit.

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It feels so good…

To be out of the closet now. Keeping secrets is hard.

skirt sports jumping
This photo is obviously from a pre-nausea era. Jumping is so out of my wheelhouse right now it kind of makes me sick to even think about. Wearing: Skirt Sports Jette Skirt, #sweatpink tank

 

Begrudgingly ordering decaf at 8am on Monday or a mocktail at 6pm on a Friday is hard.

Dodging social invitations because I can’t lift my head up off the pillow is hard.

Posting workout shots on Instagram and pretending they’re current makes me feel like a shifty, no-count liar.

Nodding and smiling when someone diagnoses my malaise as “maybe the flu” or “could be allergies!” and offers some remedies feels disingenuous and weird.

Now that alien is public, I’m just telling everyone, indiscriminately. I told the barista today after ordering my herbal tea (yawn, herbal tea. You are so not interesting) and got a high five. I told a Meetup friend via text that’s why I’ve been (un)conveniently unavailable for her happy hour invitations and got a “how can I help?”

It’s so nice to come out of hiding, and flaunt my nausea without shame.

Bring it, world.*

 

* Just kidding. I’d actually really like this to be over. I’m willing to negotiate. Whatever it takes.

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We’re pregnant!

Big, sort of surprising news! We’re pregnant! 10 weeks, to be exact.

Due date: January 14, 2016. We hope she hangs in there an extra day so she’s born on Nathan’s birthday.*

It’s a little early to announce, but we have our reasons:

  • I’m terrible at keeping secrets
  • Anyone who knows me will quickly spot my lack of caffeine, alcohol, and soft cheeses and immediately know something is up
  • If something goes wrong, I’d rather have the support of my family and online community than to be secretly sad
  • My family has been pressuring us for years now, and it’s too hard to not tell them they can let up on the innuendo and the suggestions and the death threats and start buying us presents already**

Those of you who got in on the secret early and kept it so well (my mom and Jamie), THANK YOU. We are humbled and amazed by your discretion. We know it wasn’t easy.

Diaper practice starts now:

2010-01-16 19.30.15

Good thing we have lots of time to keep practicing. #poortigger

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No, we don’t actually know the sex yet. 

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Yoga for morning sickness

The title of this post is kind of a lie. These poses won’t help with morning sickness. What I can promise you is that if you’re feeling like crap, but not so crappy that you can change positions without feeling dizzy or puking your guts out, these feel kind of good. And help you feel like you’ve accomplished something besides being a waste of space nauseous person growing a human being.

I’ve only taken one yoga class since the queasies began, during one of those first days when it was only intermittent nausea (yoga, how I miss you!). It was the kind of class that would normally make me pull my hair out: slow, gentle, not too warm in the room.

It kicked my butt three ways to Sunday, and I haven’t had a day since when I felt well enough to try even the slowest of classes again.

While I was in Hawaii with the fam, I had about an hour when I didn’t feel super awful miserable crappy, and my back was begging for a little release from its now-customary hunched up position. So I experimented with a few yoga poses and they didn’t make me ralph or feel like I was going to pass out.

Child’s pose

childs pose hawaii

Duh, I know. This is an easy one. I stayed here for a long, long time. Just in case it wasn’t safe to get up.

Cat / Cow

cat pose hawaii

These felt really great on my spine, which is feeling horridly crunchy and stiff after weeks of no activity. I had to take them nice and slow, though, to avoid the dizzies.

Rabbit pose

rabbit pose hawaii

I usually hate this pose. My forehead and my knees are never as close as my Bikram teacher said they should be. But again, for the crunchy spine, it worked, and since it’s basically the fetal position, it doesn’t feel too risky to get into.

Twist

Twist hawaii

Look! I’m actually smiling!

Ahhh this felt so glorious. Plus you get to be lying down, in a position that feels safe and oh-so-familiar. There’s zero risk to accidentally nodding off. Full disclosure: I may have verified that statement by taking a nap in this position.

Wearing: Skirt Sports Gym Girl Ultra, aka the BEST SKIRT EVER, and #sweatpink bro tank

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