If pregnancy magazines were honest

I spent over two hours waiting for my doctor at my last prenatal appointment. Most of that time was in the tiny exam room, just one chair and a speculum and a rack of pregnancy magazines. Four paces across, in case you’re wondering. Not that I spent 90% of that wait pacing back and forth, feeling trapped in pregnancy jail, wishing I had saved at least one of my snacks beyond the first 10 minutes of that interminable wait.

I flipped through a few of those magazines but quickly went back to pacing the room like a madwoman. What a load of bullshit they are, with headlines like:

Love your partner the whole 9 months

🙄 Right. That’s totally possible. 

Gain just enough weight: 6 little secrets that make it simple

Does puking all day count as one of the secrets? 

No more jelly belly: lose the baby fat fast

You are definitely not ready for this jelly.


Anyway. While the hangry ramped up with every round trip across the exam room, I started imagining what an honest pregnancy magazine would cover. And then I decided to make one.


What do you think? What’s on YOUR pregnancy magazine cover?


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3 Replies to “If pregnancy magazines were honest”

  1. HAHA this is amazing. THANK YOU! NO MORE CHIRPY magazines. I don’t want them anywhere near me. You forgot, Oops, Did I Just Pee My Pants? How I learned the importance of kegels…HAHAHA

  2. omg yas! What about “Taco Tyme, THE app moms-to-be are using to track taco intake (not to be confused by Taco Time the fast food restaurant). ” 😉

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