Hey hey, it’s mother’s day!
What are you getting for that special lady in your life? I know, it’s a dumb hallmark holiday, but you bet I’m taking advantage. I’m writing this post to help you find mother’s day gifts that don’t suck. NO BATH BOMBS, husbands. NO BATH BOMBS. And also to assist my own husband in finding me the perfect gift. I don’t want him to stress out too much.
What can I say, I’m a giver.
Take the baby and give her some time to herself. To do … whatever.
Yoga. Binge on Netflix. Stare blankly into space.
Sleep. Sit at a coffee shop and slowly sip a latte and leisurely read a book. Pee alone. Cook or do laundry without ‘help’. Literally, whatever.
Note: This is the gift I want most pretty much all the time, but this won’t work for all mamas. We all have different comfort levels around how soon and how long we can be away from the baby. You probably know where the mama in your life falls on the spectrum; if not, ask her partner.
Time with you
If your mother is not a NEW mother, meaning if you’re not a baby, give her the gift of your presence. Take her to lunch, take her for a massage, most importantly, BE NICE TO HER.
Or, if she recently became a grandma, give her the baby and GET OUT OF THE WAY.
Instant MILF Milk Bath!
Ahah I know, I just said don’t give her bath stuff. But, there’s an exception to every rule. Becky sent me these (delicious, hilarious) milk baths and the sheer joy I experienced reading the names and descriptions was as good as that soak.
Donate to a political candidate that won’t punish her for being a mother.
I’m a little enraged by all this healthcare business. All I can say is, take care of mothers by literally helping to make sure mothers get taken care of. If you don’t have the cash money to give, then use your voice to speak up for women and mothers.
Because we’re just up to our elbows all the time. Might as well throw some rainbows behind it.
There you have it, my no bullshit guide to mother’s day gifts. Sorry for all the shouting. I don’t know what came over me.. oh, no wait, I do, I wrote this on the same day this tweet came true:
Donald Trump grabbing you by the pussy could make you ineligible for Trumpcare. #AHCA
— Hemant Mehta (@hemantmehta) May 4, 2017
Once I simmer down, I’ll be back to share the story of my first mother’s day, which involves public nudity and urination committed by an adult.