Limits are so last year

gixo iamlimitless

When we first got married, one of the ways that I could reliably frustrate my husband was by being overly optimistic about timing. For example, if I was out to dinner with friends and our food hadn’t arrived yet, I’d tell him I’d be home in about 30 minutes. That estimate totally covered time to eat, pay the bill, get another drink (or two?) and of course the one hour plus commute home from San Francisco.

In other words, I was 100% dishonest. It came from a well-intentioned place of not wanting to let him down in the moment: saying “I’ll be home in 30 minutes” sounds so much better than “at least 3 hours from now, and that’s if the after dinner cocktails aren’t super delicious, and if the train schedule improbably works in my favor.” Of course my lie would come back to bite me in the ass when it was inevitably revealed, but that was a future problem that I could avoid for, well, another 30 minutes.

It’s not a respectful way to treat your partner, consistently and knowingly offering alternative facts about your plans.

My habitual tardiness may be a silly example of how well our culture teaches us to fudge or obscure any news that we fear might be poorly received. (Just look at how many women intensely identified with Cat Person).  I know I’m guilty of dissembling to maintain (an imagined?) social good all the time, for matters mundane and trivial.

In recent years, that unwillingness to put others out has manifested more in form of not asking for what I need, because the idea of either inconveniencing someone, or feeling as though I’m asking permission, feels alternately uncomfortable or stifling. And since I’m at a life stage when I need help more than ever—toddler mom, knocked up, full time job—not asking for support means I’m not showing up for myself. I’m putting up walls and limits where they don’t belong. I’m sacrificing my own health and well-being for … what, exactly?

This year, even though all the cool kids agree that resolutions are dumb, I’m using the new year as an opportunity to reflect and reset. This year, I want to reassert myself. To make space for me without guilt or excuses. To ask for the support I need instead of hoping it will be offered.
sweatpink iamlimitless gixo
In 2018, I recognize that the limits I saw on what I could achieve and who I could be were self-inflicted. In 2018 I choose to leave behind those restrictions. I choose to be limitless. The decisions and sacrifices I will make this year will be thoughtful and proactive, not reactionary or fear-driven.
I’m going into this a realist. I know my toddler and my unborn child’s needs will ultimately come first, but from here on out, that’s an approach I choose instead of a condition I submit to.
sweatpink lovetabio
In 2018 I show up for myself, without reservation. Without apology.  Without regret. With honesty. With full presence.  With an eye to the big picture.
sweatpink iamlimitless gixofit
Also, I’m going to stop reading the news so damn much. Not helpful.
This year, in partnership with Gixo, we choose to leave behind all that doesn’t serve us, and to declare #IAmLimitless. Join us for community support in achieving your goals this year, and doing more than you ever dreamed possible. 

 

 

I’m not a runner, but I’m grateful to run

I participated in a turkey trot on Thanksgiving, like I’ve done for the last eight years, but this year was different. In past years, I’ve gone with family, and our entourage is always replete with strollers and babies and grandparents and a pack of dogs. Our trot is more of a stroll; I usually sip coffee the whole way and we’re habitually at the back of the pack.

This year was different. I ran a 5-mile Turkey Trot with friends. (Well, they actually ran way faster than me, so I did most of it with temporary, pace-matched buddies from among the thousands who participated.

As I was running, I overheard snippets of conversations from the walkers I passed. Words like “I wish I were a runner, but…” or “I just can’t get into running…” or “Running just isn’t something I enjoy …”. I didn’t hear the tail end of any of those sentences but I didn’t need to, because they’re all sentiments I’ve spoken, many a time, during many a 5K stroll or while cheering at many a finish line for friends’ races.

I still don’t consider myself a runner. My ‘running’ happens in fits and starts and is punctuated by momentary highs, rookie mistakes. and lapses of activity. I’m slow. I still take walk breaks and I don’t really see my leisurely pace as something that needs a fix or an upgrade. But I’m beyond proud of myself for running those five miles on Thursday, and beyond grateful that I was able to.

During the moments when I ran alone, I kept thinking about my grandma, who passed away just a year and a half ago, and who had lost her mobility, slowly and begrudgingly, over the course of 30-some years. She was a fighter and resisted her loss of mobility longer than most humans would have endured. She never complained or let herself wallow in self-pity. She was always her witty, sharp self up until the end.

Though she never spoke to me about her feelings about being disabled, I have no doubt that she would have jumped at the chance to be able to walk or run even a few steps. And in her honor I was grateful to join the thousands of runners and walkers and babies in strollers and families in our course around downtown Austin on the most perfect, clear, sunny day, and relish the opportunity I have to move in any way I choose.

I actually didn’t get a time for this race – my chip never picked up any activity (??)  but I swear, I did the whole thing!

Even if I don’t really like running. Even if I’m not a runner. Even if my friend’s dad who power-walked the course finished just 10 minutes after I did. (No joke, he’s a machine). No matter what, I’m so glad that I can choose to run. That walking or running is available to me, and that I’m no longer the person offering the “I would like to be a runner…” excuse.

 

What new moms actually need

Over at Fit Approach, we’re in full-on holiday planning, so I’ve been thinking a lot about gifts. It’s too early, I know—I shudder to think I’m contributing to the holidays happening earlier every year trend—but I guess I am. Oops. This is sort of a holiday gift guide but really it’s a primer on what to give your mom friend, especially your new mom friend, for any occasion.

Don’t get her a stroller or baby clothes or anything that’s “for her” but really for the baby. Get her some of these things instead.

Below are the items that transformed my postpartum life. Most of these took me plenty of trial and error to figure out, so consider this your cheatsheet for what’s actually going to improve her life.

Wireless headphones

There’s no way to say this gently, so I’m just going to say it: sometimes momlife is really, really boring. You may be watching a butterfly mobile, pushing a swing, or inspecting individual pieces of bark at the playground for what feels like an eternity. Listening to podcasts and audiobooks has been a sanity saver for me, and I wish I had started doing it back when Mac was super new and I spent my whole life nursing and changing diapers. Next time, I’ll know.

I rely on my trusty wireless headphones for everything. Wires are just a no-go with a grabby baby and a chronic shortage of hands. If you follow me on the internet you know that my Aftershokz are my constant companions – they are literally the best headphones I’ve ever owned. And they make everything from conference calls to running to boring momlife moments better.

A workout app that helps her feel connected

 

I’ve been very honest about my postpartum fitness journey, and how long it took me to find a way to fit it all in. I’m still working on that. But my ace in the hole lately, something I wish I’d had available to me back when I was on a tight breastfeeding tether, was Gixo. It’s a workout app that I actually like (this is a big deal, people), primarily because of the built-in social interactions and accountability. The classes are live so the instructor is talking to you the whole time, encouraging you, even video chatting with you during water breaks.

I use it after Mac goes to bed, or I’ll even pop into a 15 minute class while she’s busy identifying every rock at the park. Even though I know the instructor can’t see me (unless I opt to share my camera during water breaks), knowing she’s there leading the class and hearing her provide feedback in real time makes me work harder to avoid getting ‘caught’ slacking. Silly, I know, but so effective. Without the live accountability, there is NO WAY IN HELL I would ever decide to do a workout, alone in my house, after she goes to bed, when all I really want to do is collapse on my couch and stare vacantly into space.

Instead, I do a Gixo workout or two, then dive back into work, reenergized by an evening dose of endorphins.

Get one month free plus 20% off here.

 

A cell phone wallet

We made these adhesive wallets for BlogFest this year, and this simple little gadget has been life-changing for me. When you’re swapping bags all the time, from diaper bag to purse to just cramming what you need in your pockets, it’s easy to forget the things you actually need. I keep my baseline essentials—ID and credit card—in my cell phone wallet, which means all I have to do is grab my phone and, even if I do no other purse swapping, I can make it through just about any day. No unloading my wallet, no collecting loose cards or items, and no forgetting things in random pockets.

We have these cute little adhesive ones for just $3; here are some fancier ones:

A backpack she’ll want to use as a purse

 

The thing about momlife is that there are never enough hands to go around. Having a purse over one shoulder only complicates the whole juggling situation. I’ve been on team backpack for years, but becoming a parent made my commitment rock solid.

I bought this backpack as a diaper bag originally, but it has since morphed ito my purse. I get a ridiculous number of compliments on it, from people who are not parents, and who are shocked to discover it’s a diaper bag. That means you get all the pros of a diaper bag (hello, pockets and easy clean!) with none of the drawbacks.

Here are some of my favorite backpack options:

Momlife friendly athleisure

Joggers
Can we say elastic waist? I recommend joggers that are gray or heathered rather than black; they are less likely to show spit up, food, dirt and other substances she’ll find herself smeared with than a pure black pair would.

Here are some of my faves:

Tops with that are cut generously around her belly.

It’s nice to have some breathing room around the belly. IT takes weeks, or months, for new moms to not look pregnant any more. Bonus points if theyr’e nursing friendly, easy to clean, AND don’t show spit up.

These are some gems:

 

A cute pair of sneakers

 

Picking shoes out for someone else is hard, but I had to include this one because once you start dressing for mom life, it’s a slippery slope into pajamas all day and mom jeans (and I don’t mean the cool hipster kind). Having a cute pair of sneakers is a perfect way to be comfortable and able to chase around toddlers / walk around with a baby in a carrier all day without feeling like a slob. I’m a die hard Converse fan, and I also have a (stupid expensive) pair of slip-ons that I bought years ago and have been one of my best cost-per-wear purchases (what a relief!).

Why not one of these pairs?

What do you think? What’s your go-to gift for new moms?

We’ve come a long way, baby

Image source

I remember so well my mom routinely sending me to elementary school with a check, which I’d trade in for Safeway Scrip. I didn’t really understand what it was; I just knew that my mom always bought groceries with scrip, and that $100 seemed like a staggering fortune compared to my 50 cent allowance.

I’d guard that stack of $20 paper gift certificates so carefully, tucking them into my otherwise chaotic, disorganized backpack, and rush right home to deliver the goods before something could happen to that precious pile of cash.  And then, grocery shopping with my mom, which was a treat because we always got to each french bread while we shopped. And sometimes it was warm, fresh out of the bakery. Is there anything better than fresh hot bread?

So it came with all sorts of warm fuzzies when ShopWithScrip reached out about partnering with the Sweat Pink community. Back in the 90s, ShopWithScrip kept our family flush with our standard chicken, rice, and steamed broccoli dinners, and also helped my elementary school get supplies and other things public schools are so starved for.

Since then, the program has come a long, long away. #ThanksInternet. You can now get e gift cards for everything, like Target, Amazon, Whole Foods … basically all the places my money goes anyway. But with Shop with Scrip I can justify my spending by sending some of that money back to an organization of my choice. (Watch out, Whole Foods mochi bar: I’m coming for you. IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN).

It’s a way easier to fundraise then, ahem, buying a bunch of cookie dough or wrapping paper. Which I always say yes to, because it’s for the children.

I’ve been doing all my grocery shopping with Scrip, loaded up my Amazon account with a gift card that will vanish tomorrow (gah, Prime, why do I need so many things from you??) and even used Scrip for a little wardrobe update.

If you want to join me on my spending spree for the good of humanity, Fit Approach is using ShopWithScrip to fundraise for Girls on The Run. There are a few steps you involved in getting set up, but once you do, you’re all set to purchase gift cards—even reload your Starbucks card—and give back at the same time.

If you want to give back, join our program benefiting Girls on the Run! Just email me (alyse AT fitapproach.com)  if you’d like to join and I’ll give you our super secret access code to participate.

Or, if you are involved in an organization that needs to fundraise, this is your answer for how how to can scrap bake sales and pancake breakfasts: start fundraising an easier way.

That way, next time you spend your #wholepaycheck at Whole Foods or Amazon, you’re giving a percentage back to helping young girls chase their dreams. And if there’s a right reason to go shopping, it’s gotta be that one.

In partnership with ShopWithScrip. Thank you for supporting organizations who do great work! 

Let’s run away to Canada

Hi friends, it’s been forever. I’ve written about a bazillion blog posts in my head this summer, especially on the way to or from an airport. It’s been a magnificent summer for travel and an abysmal one for routines and getting the regular stuff done. Like writing here.

Speaking of travel, I’m headed to Vancouver this weekend for a friend’s Still a Bachelorette Party, and the timing couldn’t be more desirable. Here are my top reasons for fleeing for the border:

The Still A Bachelorette is one of my besties 

We’ve been friends for, gulp, 17 years. Half my life. She’s the life of the party and the creator of genius kitchen creations like bacon baskets and ramen pizza. I can’t wait to celebrate with her!

In Canada. Where people are wonderful.

We thought sleep was fixed… until it wasn’t.

The first night home from my solo trip to Europe Mac slept for TEN HOURS IN A ROW. The next night was pretty solid too. Then… back to normal. Talk about a bait’n’switch.

Time to run away again. To Canada, where no doubt toddlers sleep like sweet little silent angels. 

Um, WTF is wrong with our country?

I’m outraged and mute with horror, but I’m also trying to speak up, because the decent humans among us can’t afford to remain silent anymore. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to use my voice. I don’t usually talk about serious things on the internet, but this post helped me think through how, and why, to use my voice in my industry.

In the meantime, I’ll be in Canada. 

Location scouting!

We’re hosting a retreat in Vancouver next month with Lorna Jane. There are, as of this writing, a couple spots left if you want to join us. It’ll be community-building, sweat, and swag, just like in Sonoma. 🙂

This is my preview trip of … Canada!

Um, WTF is wrong with our country?

Bears repeating.